Top 10 Don'ts for Christmas

10. Don't steal the Santa from your neighbors yard

9. Don't blow up the little baby Jesus and try to replace it with your childhood G.I. Joe

8. Don't smoke the mistletoe

7. Remember that not everyone is like you. Don't buy them that (insert your favorite Christmas gift here)

6. Don't throw yellow snowballs at your relatives

5. Don't sleep with your best friend's wife on Christmas, do it the day before

4. Don't tell your best friend that you're sleeping with his wife. Wait until after you get your presents

3. Don't do the entire shopping Christmas Eve then yell at the store manager for running out of all the popular gifts

2. Don't put reindeer antlers on your dog and expect others to think it's cute

1. Don't fall asleep before midnight and expect to wake up before your children to put the presents under the tree